You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘7 Principles’ category.

The secret rhyme for a divorce-proof marriage, in sha Allah:

Kilometer Carts = Hearts!
KM CARTS = Hearts!

K – Know: Know your spouse. Know her/his likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, life story, ambitions, personality, talents, what’s going on in her/his life at the moment, etc.
M – Meaning: What’s the shared meaning of your marriage? Have shared goals, rituals, symbols, etc. For example, your shared goal could be to enter jannat-ul-firdaws together! A shared ritual might be reading Qur’an together every night.

C – Compromise: Compromise on areas of conflict whenever possible.
A – Admiration: Remember why you admire her/him and keep those feelings of fondness and admiration alive.
R – Respond: Respond to the small talk and chit chat your spouse makes. Don’t ignore it.
T – Tolerate: Some of your conflicts may be rooted in deeper differences in your personalities. Tolerate those aspects of her/his personality that simply aren’t going to change.
S – Shoora: Take shoora from your spouse when making decisions and actually act upon her/his advice. For women this comes naturally. Men tend to find this difficult!

Time to memorize it:

Kilometer Carts = Hearts!
KM CARTS = Hearts!

Some of these things may seem trivial, but their impact upon a marriage is immense. Of course, this little rhyme will mean a lot more (and be a lot more useful) once you read the book on which it’s based: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman*.

km Carts = Hearts!

May Allah bless the Muslims with awesome, divorce-proof marriages. Ameen!

* This book contains a few points I disagree with for Islamic reasons. However, over all it is an excellent read.

Advertisements

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers