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The secret rhyme for a divorce-proof marriage, in sha Allah:

Kilometer Carts = Hearts!
KM CARTS = Hearts!

K – Know: Know your spouse. Know her/his likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, life story, ambitions, personality, talents, what’s going on in her/his life at the moment, etc.
M – Meaning: What’s the shared meaning of your marriage? Have shared goals, rituals, symbols, etc. For example, your shared goal could be to enter jannat-ul-firdaws together! A shared ritual might be reading Qur’an together every night.

C – Compromise: Compromise on areas of conflict whenever possible.
A – Admiration: Remember why you admire her/him and keep those feelings of fondness and admiration alive.
R – Respond: Respond to the small talk and chit chat your spouse makes. Don’t ignore it.
T – Tolerate: Some of your conflicts may be rooted in deeper differences in your personalities. Tolerate those aspects of her/his personality that simply aren’t going to change.
S – Shoora: Take shoora from your spouse when making decisions and actually act upon her/his advice. For women this comes naturally. Men tend to find this difficult!

Time to memorize it:

Kilometer Carts = Hearts!
KM CARTS = Hearts!

Some of these things may seem trivial, but their impact upon a marriage is immense. Of course, this little rhyme will mean a lot more (and be a lot more useful) once you read the book on which it’s based: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman*.

km Carts = Hearts!

May Allah bless the Muslims with awesome, divorce-proof marriages. Ameen!

* This book contains a few points I disagree with for Islamic reasons. However, over all it is an excellent read.


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