These were compiled by random sister’s many who are wives and many who are not.

1- Make her feel secure- don’t joke about divorcing her, this will put a hole in your marriage.

2- Always greet her whenever you arrive

3- Your wife is a fragile vessel so take care of her- In this vessel there is a lot of goodness so treat her in a gentle manner.

4- Advice her in privacy and the best timing. Don’t advice her in the presence of others, it can be a type of humility

5- Be generous with her

6- Move out of your way for her, when she’s coming to sit get up and let her sit on your seat tell her: ‘here honey sit I warmed up the seat for you’

7- Avoid anger.

8- Look good for her and smell great.

9- Don’t be rigid, you will broken- just because you are a man doesn’t mean you have to be harsh hearted

10- Be a good listener

11- Say yes for flattering and no for arguing.

12- Call your wife with the best names she likes to hear. i.e: the prophet (Saw) used to call Aisha- A’ish!

13- Surprise her secretly. Ex: Bring her a watermelon when it’s not the season of watermelons. Pick and choose in surprising her, be an artist in surprising her pleasantly

14- Preserve the tongue

15- Accept her shortcomings/ everyone has one

16- Show your appreciation to her

17- Encourage her to be in touch with her kin relations

18- Speak topics of her interest.

19- Speak of her goodness in the presence of others

20- Shower her with gifts. The prophet (saw) said: give gifts and you’ll love each other’ MML It’s doesn’t matter how cheap or expensive the gift is, it’s the thought that counts!

21- Get rid of the same old routine once in a while, scrub the rust. Ex: Buy her ticket to a vacation cruise or something that she will enjoy.

22- Think good of her- husn althan-

23- Ignore some of the words/actions you don’t like

24- Add a drop of patience- It can go a long way- i.e: at her time of pregnancy, menses…etc

25- Expect and respect her jealousy.

26- Be humble

27- Don’t put a price on her happiness.

28- Help her around household chores just like the prophet (saw) did.

29- You can’t force her to love her in laws, but help her respect and love your parents.

30- Show her that she is an ideal wife; each and every wife is an ideal wife in many ways, so make her feel that.

31- Make dua’a for her and always remember her in your dua’as

32- Leave her past to Allah swt

33- Don’t show her that you are doing favors by doing your duties

34- Shitaan/Satan is your enemy NOT your wife!

35- When eating, don’t only feed yourself, feed her TOO! – Not only does it go to the stomach but to the heart too.

36- Look at her as a precious pearl, treat her and take care of her like a precious pearl

37- Speaking of pearlsà show her YOUR pearlsà SMILE! . Don’t put your smile out-of-service when you reach home! Don’t be rigid, smiling is Sadaqah

38- Don’t hold grudges. Deal with the littlest matters and don’t ignore them, it will build up and will create a wall between you and your wife.

39- Avoid being harsh hearted and moody.

40- Respect her thinking; her thinking strengthens you.

41- Help her discover/develop her skills and her success within

42- Respect the boundaries of the intimate relationship- it’s a fragile matter.

43- Help her with the children; it’s not only her job it’s yours too!

44- Complement her!-give her the gifts of the tongues-

45- Don’t be a stranger to her meals, know your wife’s meals, and eat her food.

46- Let her know when you are traveling don’t just disappear, and also let her know about your arrival.

47- When arguments arise, deal with it and don’t run away from it.

48- Don’t share your home secrets with your friends. Keep your privacy, and don’t make it a garage sale.

49- Encourage each other to worship/obey Allah swt – Go for umrah together, listen to a lecture/recitation.-

50- Engrave her rights in your heart and in your conscious

51- Treat her with kindness through happiness and sorrow

52- Don’t jump on your wife like a ball!, in fact polish your love with many kisses- A kiss is a messenger- alqubulah rasool

53- When disputes happen between you and your wife, don’t go and share it with the whole world.-don’t leave your wounds open for the germs-

54- Show her that you care for her health.

55- Don’t think that you are right all the time!-No one Is perfect but the prophet (saw)-

56- Share you happiness and sorrow with her.

57- Have mercy on her.

58- Be the shoulder she can lean on!

59- Accept her as is, she’s a bent rib so don’t try to straighten it.

*Side note: A dear friend once said: “a bent rib cannot be straightened, and in fact the beauty of it lies within its curve!”

60- Have good intentions for your wife – alniyaatu atayibaah-

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